How The F*ck Do I Read My Birth Chart Part IV

Hey…. Hi…. how y’all doing? (ME awkwardly slipping into the blog trying to pretend like it hasn’t been 4 months since my last post). I’m sure you guys have given up on me completely but guess what, MY SATURN placement will not let me just leave everyone hanging!  As promised, I am dedicating a brand-new post to Big Daddy Saturn. Don’t worry, Uranus gets a little bit of attention too (just how you like it wink, wink). It’s okay, you can laugh- no judgement here. Now that I’ve made sure everyone feels as awkward as I do let’s go ahead and jump right into the depth of Saturn and his beautiful rannngs and later we’ll gently slide into urANUS (okay I regret that and I apologize).


I’m sure we have all heard the term Daddy Saturn and if you hadn’t before, you’re welcome, I am a wealth of knowledge and I share freely. There is a mythological reason behind this- Saturn was named after the Roman titan god who was the father of Jupiter, Neptune, and Pluto! Now, picture an actual father figure and the rest should be easy to understand. Saturn in your birth chart rules responsibility and work ethic. Under the influence of Saturn your personality can be strengthened and disciplined. As the “father” its Saturn’s job to put us in situations we can work through ourselves, sometimes these situations can feel uncomfortable, but really its all in how you handle your shit. As the “Only Astrology Book You’ll Ever Need” aka the only book I’ll ever quote from says- “In astrology Saturn is the planet of diligence, self-control, and limitation. Its domain is patience, stability, maturity, and realism. Its influence is stern and restrictive, cold and severe”. Alright! Super Fun! Dad mode for sure, kind of like your best friends jerk dad who made her call him ‘Sir” and in your head you were all like “geez, calm down Steve she’s just asking for another glass of Kool Aid”. Some other interesting facts about Saturn as a planet is that its huge and spins on its own axis. Its so far away from the sun it takes 29-30 years to make a complete orbit, however a day on Saturn is only 10 hours long! Think of it this way, the daily tasks need to be complete asap, but the reward is far off in the distance- very Saturny vibes here. Effort is what builds your character according to Saturn. Its important to note that Saturn should not be feared! “In its symbolic form, Saturn is our destiny. It rules fate, the things we cannot escape, and the payment we must make for what we receive”. Hopefully you have your birth chart in front of you or memorized by now, I mean you’ve had 4 months to look it over!

Saturn in Aries: This position is not the easiest one. You can be strong and powerful one minute then stubborn and solitary the next. Many will achieve success but only after setbacks and disappointments- can you handle that? Your hardest times come early in life until you develop strength in your character. Can suffer headaches or dental problems.

Saturn in Taurus: Taurus is known for their strong will and tenacious spirit. With Saturn in this position you take responsibility seriously and your determination is emphasized. There is a need to save money by putting it away either in savings, stocks, or real estate. This is because you have a fear of low resources- some may see this as you are being materialistic or selfish. The truth is though, when you do achieve material success you are generous with others. Can suffer from colds, soar throats, or thyroid issues.

Saturn in Gemini: This is a good home for Saturn. The sign of Gemini is very versatile, with Saturn here your intellectual side is emphasized, and sharp minds are deepened here. Sometimes you be cynical or too sarcastic but usually you have a good combination of wisdom and youthful desire for education. You will have a good sense for finances in this position and many have musical ability. Saturn-Geminis are susceptible to problems of the chest and lungs.

Saturn in Cancer: There can be an emotional and clingy dependence on others with Saturn in this sign. There is a love to overindulge in just about everything. There is a tenacity here though and this makes you wonderful at seeing things through to completion. Ambition and good business sense come easily to you. Family issues are present here, most likely with a mother figure. Some Saturn in Cancer natives will marry someone older than them to feel more secure. Prone to stomach or digestive problems, can become overweight.

 Saturn in Leo: This combination proves to be a difficult one with regards to emotions. On the one hand Leo is so exaggerated and on the other Saturn tones it down, a push and pull that is not harmonious. You are, however, proud and strong willed, self-assured and authoritative. You do well with responsibility and find it easy to organize people or activities. You fear being ordinary and strive to make dramatic impressions. Prone to high blood pressure and heart problems.

Saturn in Libra: In this position giving off good impressions comes easy to you. You know the balance of when to be aggressive and go for what you want, and when to be diplomatic. You may have a strong sense of artistic ventures and a large public life. Your desires to share or be close to others are suppressed here and this may lead to feelings of loneliness, however you may benefit from the stability of marriage. Susceptible to back injuries and kidney problems.

Saturn in Scorpio: Your personality is powerful with Saturn in this position. You have no problem understanding human motivation, and that makes it easy for you to assert control over others. Sometimes you may find obstacles regarding scandals in your love life. You may be drawn to secret love affairs and this brings emotional trouble into your life. Stay away from rumors and gossip. Once you have your eye on something you go for it until its yours. You always stay committed to your goals. You may suffer the loss of loved ones.

Saturn in Sagittarius: Patience and perseverance are lessons Saturn puts on natives of this sign. You may find that you always must work longer and harder to get success. The older and wiser you get the easier this becomes. There is much luck in careers such as law, writing, politics, or foreign affairs. You will always find it difficult to balance your need for security and order and your want for challenges and adventure. Be careful of accidents involving your hips or thighs.

Saturn in Capricorn: Saturn rules Capricorn so its power is STRONG here. You are independent, dedicated and ambitious. Others may see you as mean or authoritative, but you learn early in life to be self-sufficient. Not one to listen to advice you often do things the hard way, the good news is you learn from experience. Can be very melancholy but you have a witty or dry sense of humor. Its easy for you to attract faithful friends but difficult for you to keep a lover. Knees and Joints could be issues for you.

Saturn in Aquarius: Your qualities of trustworthiness and self-discipline are favorable. You can easily deal with anyone and even appeal to most everyone. You may even find yourself achieving fame in politics or the entertainment world. You are clever and can manipulate others into getting your way. You have a strong need for independence and sometimes this can lead to a lonely life. Be mindful of injuries to the lower legs and ankles.

Saturn in Pisces: The vivid imagination Pisces has will help be translated into creative work. You are sympathetic and have a strong intuition- others are drawn to you. Unfortunately, you are very sensitive to the bad things in life and you do not achieve material successes. There needs to be courage and determination to push through and let your talents shine. Learn not to be the cause of your own unhappiness. Philosophy, writing, and teaching of spiritual or occult is your strongest passions. You might be vulnerable to problems with the feet.

Feeling RESTRICTED YET? Well now that we’re done with that powerhouse of a planet lets move on to something a little less serious… J/K all the planets, placements, houses, aspects, etc. are serious so get over it, you’ve made it this far! There is a bit of good news though, Uranus is soooo different from Saturn. The Energy is exciting and all about change and surprise (I could make another butt hole joke here, but I think we’ve got our fill… ha ha). Uranus is the planet of originality and brings about sudden opportunity. “It awakens, shocks, and revolutionizes. It is responsible for the flash of human genius that creates something new, whether it be in art or science”. This planet has a lot to do with your feelings regarding modern science or the latest discoveries. Your unique self-expression can be explained by looking into your Uranus placement. “Uranus relates to your inner will and your secret power. In certain respects, its power is similar to Mars. The difference is that Uranus is deep seated energy within the personality, an unconscious purpose that is revealed over a lifetime- this designates what kind of genius you have”.  If we want to get spacey, Uranus has a total of 15 moons and 11 rings and a magnetic field that stretches for millions of miles. This planet also spins opposite on its axis from all the other planets… really going for the “unique gold” here.  Let’s see how weird you are and what Uranus looks like for you in your birth chart.

Uranus in Aries: You have an inventive and original mind. You like to be in charge and run the show. Sometimes you tend to be too blunt because you feel you know better than everyone else. With very little patience you make sure your ideas are put into action. Changing jobs often is normal for you and a love of travel makes you feel alive.

Uranus in Taurus: The influence of Uranus in this sign encourages willpower and determination. You get what you want with patience and a concentrated effort. There is a need to build and construct and attain. Lucky with finances, you may find yourself living a blessed life. Bright, bold colors and vivid patterns is your preferred style.

Uranus in Gemini: Here you have the power of ideas! You are smart and possess a big imagination. It is easy for you to convince others of your point of view. Most interests of yours tends to be offbeat in nature such as psychic phenomena or unexplained events of the past. There is an urge to express yourself in writing and speaking.

Uranus in Cancer: You have a very heightened sensitivity to others. Your imagination is strong and sometimes you might even feel that your subconscious can be close to psychic. Trust your intuitions because they are valuable. There is an artistic streak to your personality, and some may even call you eccentric in your behaviors.

Uranus in Leo: You prefer to take on leadership roles and sometimes can do it forcefully. There is a need to be the center of attention and this includes the way your ideas are presented. You even like to play her hero or heroine whenever given the opportunity because you want the credit and validation. Romantic relationships often bring new opportunities; however, you do like to be independent.

Uranus in Virgo: Your power comes from your ability to analyze and visualize. Facts are what’s most important to you and you have a gift of intuition and common sense. There’s a rebellious attitude towards restrictions and routines. Your greatest desire is to change the world and make it better. You will find luck in sudden work changes.

Uranus in Libra: Partnerships is where you express your power. You tend to have unusual relationships with people who may seem unconventional. Love affairs and marriages seem to start quickly and end just as abruptly. You make good first impressions because of your charm and strange or exotic tastes in fashion.

Uranus in Scorpio: In this sign you have a strong and magnetic personality. You use sexuality to get what you want, and you have a deep inquisitive thought process. With your will power you can move mountains and get the job done. You have a very intuitive knowledge regarding people or situations you are involved with. Sometimes you may be thought of as secretive or stubborn.

Uranus in Sagittarius: Adventurous and freedom loving. Anything overly organized or structured makes you run for the hills. Because of your need for independence you tend to be restless and sometimes reckless. Financial luck can be found through investments and travel. Uranus gifts you with a prophetic insight and you just know when something important is going to happen.

Uranus in Capricorn: Disciplined and structured energy gives you the power of success with whatever you do. You do not like to accept others as authority because you need to be in charge. You have confidence to break old ideas and move towards future trends. It is easy for you to organize people and they enjoy you for your sarcastic sense of humor.

Uranus in Aquarius: Uranus rules the sign of Aquarius, so your originality and inventiveness are strongly emphasized here. You are quite genius and can easily make an impact on people. You tend to think only you are right, but you also believe in freedom of thought which makes you a strange blend. Friends and co-workers bring you success at work.

Uranus in Pisces: You have a talent for expressing human emotions in creative works. You have almost psychic awareness and your intuitions are extremely reliable. Many will study astrology, psychology, and the occult. Because of your sensitivity to everything around you it may cause you to withdraw from the world.

That’s it for now folks. Next time we will venture into our last two planets Neptune and Pluto. Hopefully it won’t take me 4 months to write about them. Thanks for reading! Hope you found this helpful and remember you can always DM me on Instagram @mizmagick for any questions regarding your birth charts and if you are wanting some insight on anything else metaphysical you can book a tarot reading with me right here on my website!

How the F**K do I read my birth chart Part III

So, you’re back for more huh? I mean, first of all, thank you! Second of all, I hate it when people say shit like “first of all and second of all” so let me stop myself before this goes too far. If you’re just seeing this and wondering wtf “Part III” even is, then I suggest going backwards and starting in chronological order. The only people I can possibly imagine getting a kick out of reading something out of order are Sagittarius placements and this could be for two reasons- A. they cannot be bothered to rEaD eVeRyThInG or B. reading out of order seems “spontaneous” and “could be fun”… listen, you do you, it is sag season after, all. I’m just glad you’re here.

I feel that by this point we’re all friends here so a long drawn out intro is unnecessary. This time I’m cutting straight to the chase- Ladies we are going to Mars (for more candy bars) and Fellas you can go to Jupiter (to get more stupider). Again, if you don’t recognize that gem from childhood, I feel bad for you. Now Lesssgooo!


How’s your temper friend? Are you an absolute psycho ready to blow up at any inconvenience, red faced with steam coming out of your ears? Are you meek and mild letting everyone including your neighbors three- year old, Aiden walk all over you? Or are you a nut case that holds on to shit for years tricking everyone into thinking you’re a well-rounded individual until all of a sudden you realize you can no longer keep it all in and then like a pin to a balloon you EXPLODE without anyone having time to take cover? Mars is responsible for your physical energy, sex drive, forcefulness, and your aggression. Knowing more about your assertive power will come from a good study of your Mars placements. The planet itself gets its name after the Roman god of war- He was aggressive and quarrelsome and never hesitated to act. In space terms Mars is known as the fiery red planet and it’s no coincidence that the name means “bright and burning one”. Your ambition, desire, courage, strength, impulses, boldness, and endurance all come from Mars. The catch with this planet and your specific placement is how you use it’s force. If you can control yourself, this energy is put to good use. If you tend to be the impatient type this could be a point of conflict in your life. So, what does your Mars placement say about you?

Mars in Aries: Mars rules Aries so this is it’s natural “home”, emphasizes self-confidence and force of character, others always know how you feel about something because you are loud about it, courageous, honest, but can be blunt and combative, active and assertive sex-life, aggressively gets what they want.

Mars in Taurus: Very determined and persistent, slow and steady vitality, success means money and material possessions, great deal of energy is spent on sexual pursuits, in love you like to dominate and possess, unwillingness to see others points of view causes difficulties in relationships.

Mars in Gemini: Energetic activity of the mind, brilliantly intellectual, practical and quick, lack force of will, sexual desire happen in the mind before physicality, easily aroused passions, can have multiple affairs or marriages due to feeling like a relationship has lost its “zest”, can convince others of what you want.

Mars in Cancer: Great strength of will, can wear down opposition by repeated assaults- the effect is overpowering, sex is emotional, love-making is an intuitive art, passions depend on your lovers, can cling to relationships that do not make you happy, outburst of temper and nervous irritability.

Mars in Leo: Never ordinary, make grand plans and possess the force to put them into action, very dramatic sex-drive, can grab attention and affection of others easily, hot-blooded and impulsive, demand a great deal from lovers, you must dominate but you show affection in return, can be condescending.

Mars in Virgo: Systematic approach to everything including sex, ambitious and proud, extremely strong willed, able to separate yourself from your emotions, passions are strong but kept under tight rein, can be so wrapped up in details you miss the bigger picture, shrewd and calculating in making decisions.

Mars in Libra: Fluctuating power, impulsive and sensuous in sex drive, great deal of energy is spent in forming emotional relationships, prefer to be sought after- not usually the aggressor, enjoy sophisticated lovers, carefully weighs the pros and cons for any situation, tend to be unhappy in sex relationships.

Mars in Scorpio: Persistent and intense, resourceful and determined, efforts are always directed at a purpose, no wasted movements, a strong and deeply felt sexuality, sometimes emotional sexuality, displays jealousy, anger, or hurt feelings, always able to move an audience, imaginative and powerfully creative.

Mars in Sagittarius: Promotes courage and independence, dashing and exciting, easily distracted, passionate and sensual, open to numerous affairs because of your exploratory nature, sexual relationships end as quickly as they began, impulsive and rash at times, power to amuse and delight, always makes a good first impression.

Mars in Capricorn: Force and energy kept under control, fierce, magnetic, and commanding, have the ability to endure anything, sexual nature is earthy and passionate, the element of self-control marks your relationships, sexy and even romantic, could have had a secret love affair with someone older

Mars in Aquarius: Energy expressed on a mental plane, quick in your actions, an element of reform or fighting for freedom in your outlook, high-strung and unpredictable, ambivalence in your sexual nature, try to deal with sex rationally but swing back and forth between desire and detachment, prone to affairs because this way there can’t be total commitment.

Mars in Pisces: Easily stirs feelings and grabs peoples emotions, compelling imagination, enormously receptive to your environment, shoulder the responsibilities of others, intensity of feelings in your sexual relationships, may suffer disappointment in love because you involve yourself fully in relationships even when others do not.


 Remember when we were kids and we used to send boys to Jupiter to get more stupider…and they actually did? While that little rhyme IS funny, it really has nothing to do with Jupiter and everything to do with males being the lesser species (calm down JEREMY, can you grow a child inside you, birth it, and feed it with your body? Didn’t think so). Let me stop before I get carried away, if you are a male and reading this- you are important, and we appreciate you! Jupiter is the planet of good luck, optimism, success, and generosity.  As explained in The Only Astrology Book, You’ll Ever Need- “The position of Jupiter in your birth chart can indicate where your fortunate opportunities are to be found. This benevolent planet shows where you have the most room to expand and the areas in which you will get the best out of life.” In mythology Jupiter was SUPREME! He was the God of all the Gods- ruler of the Heavens. In astrology Jupiter represents luck, health, happiness, wealth, worldly goods, and power. In our solar system Jupiter is the fifth planet from the sun and our largest. In fact, did you know that the size of Jupiter is so massive it can fit the rest of every other planet in our solar system inside it with plenty of room to spare?! Jupiter also emits its own heat, much like the sun and was once considered a “failed star” meaning it has all the elements of our sun, but not the planets revolving around it. If you pay attention to where Jupiter is in your chart, It is said that when Jupiter is working for you, everything comes easily to you and with little effort on your part- this is where you will have the most luck. “Jupiter is the planet of blessings, blessings we must learn to use wisely”. Let’s see where you can find the most luck in your life.

Jupiter in Aries: Confident and enthusiastic you are a natural leader. Luck follows you in professions where you can be your own boss. You tend to spend money too extravagantly and need to be careful with finances. You can achieve high rank in things like politics, science, literature, and the military.

Jupiter in Taurus: Taurus is the money sign of the zodiac and Jupiter will bring abundance. Most successful in jobs where finances are involved. Banking, stocks and bonds, investments, will all bring you rewards. You have an eye for beauty and art, you may even have a lovely voice or artistic talent.

Jupiter in Gemini: Blessed with an adventurous side, money making opportunities usually come to you through friends and contacts you acquire. Most successful in areas where the intellect can be used- teaching, lecturing, law. Communications industries like publishing, magazine writing, or tv reporting are also well received.

Jupiter in Cancer: One of the luckiest positions because you are very popular wherever you go, and this opens many doors for you. You may be lucky with investments, real estate, inheritances, and stock market. Food and drink bring success to this sign- careers as chefs, restaurateurs or cookbook writers.

Jupiter in Leo: Extraordinary public appeal. Theatre, television, movies, politics, advertising, and public relations are all in your wheelhouse of success. Even the world of fashion, or high-powered selling jobs are perfect matches for your ambitiously extravagant side. You may even find yourself benefiting from influential friends.

Jupiter in Virgo: You can make a hobby or pastime successful. Smart, analytical, and persevering, you figure out a way to the biggest rewards. Perfection with details you naturally succeed in teaching, accounting, literary critic, journalist, or news commentary. Even fields in space technology, science, and medicine are lucky for you.

Jupiter in Libra: Magnetic and charming personality. Luck comes through artistic talents and an eye for beauty. Many talented musicians, painters, decorators, fashion designers, and art collectors fall under this sign in Jupiter. Marriages tend to benefit this sign as the partnership sector is illuminated here. Marriage can bring in social positions of wealth and leads to the teamed-up business world.

Jupiter in Scorpio: Excellent at figuring out hidden information, would make a great psychiatrist, researcher, politician, or even security agent in the FBI. Strong magnetic attractions open doors for career and financial opportunities. Lucky fields are medicine, surgery, or therapy.

Jupiter in Sagittarius: Jupiter rules Sagittarius, a placement here is emphasized. You like to live “well” and usually attract financial luck. Can turn ideas into cash- you think BIG. Drawn to professions such as law, government, diplomacy, literature, and philosophy.

Jupiter in Capricorn: Here Jupiter’s power is expressed through ambition. You gain through hard-work and willpower. Success is achieved gradually and long-term. Instinct for business, construction owners, land development, real estate, oil industry.

Jupiter in Aquarius: Magnetic ability to win friends- this is where you find good fortune. Unexpected opportunities and new situations often happen here. The sign of the future, successful professions come from the modern era- television, computers, electronics, aviation, and the space industry. This placement brings luck to others. There is a sharp intuition about human nature.

Jupiter in Pisces: Power to appeal to the emotions. Working with people, especially with the healing arts brings success. Deft touch with animals, may work as a veterinarian, breeder, farming, ranching. May find fortune in careers that help humanity like, social work, religious work, politics, philanthropic organizations. Attracts popularity with a likeable personality.

I’m not going to lie I had every intention of covering Saturn in part III as well. The problem is… ITS SAG SEASON and my attention span is as big as an ant right now (I’m willing to bet you were tired of reading anyways). I think I’ll save good old Daddy Saturn for next time. He deserves more than a thrown together post, no- he DEMANDS more than a thrown together post! So, until then, Au revoir lovely’s!

How the F**k do I read my birth chart?! Part II

Welcome dear friends! If you are ready for the second installment of my multi-part series on “How the F**k do I read my birth chart” well than you’re in luck! I’m still feeling the motivation bug that lives deep in my being and makes random appearances from time to time, shocking the hell out of me and feeding me the inspiration juice until I do something about it. You’d think this would be helpful for all aspects of my life, and I’d be somewhat of a tornado zipping about getting every possible thing taken care of, no loose ends, perfect perfection. The problem is, it tends to manifest itself in one or two areas making me a bit obsessed and quite possibly too passionate about a certain project or undertaking. I’ll dive deep, feel deep, think deep, live deep, bury myself into the ground and then die, only to be resurrected when the urge strikes again. Keep in mind this is all happening while at the same time I’m living on a whim, without a care in the world, yearning for freedom and longing to be a gypsy who travels without anything holding me back- fuck the government and everything society has made us believe we have to do. This has everything to do with my placements and the planets ruling over them. While my chart is certainly without a doubt VERY Capricorn heavy, I have quite the mixture bringing in some major Scorpio vibes and some free-spirited Sagittarius energies. I’d love to say I’m well rounded (LOL) but I’m not. Now, I’m not trying to be comical, or to give myself a hard time. I’m only saying this because I’m still learning how to use all of what I got in the best ways possible. I’m a work in progress- we all are, even that one annoyingly “perfect” Virgo you know who tries to correct every spelling mistake you’ve ever made in your entire life! Cool it Brenda! We get it, you know how to fucking spell. The thing is, if we take the time to understand our birth charts, we are taking the time to understand ourselves- what makes us tick, how we love, the expansive ways our minds work, our unique styles of communication. Knowing all of this is so that we can become better, not perfect (suck it Brenda), but better. This time we are getting a little deeper, a little more ASTROLOGICAL (muuaahahahahaha)! This time we are looking at two major planets in your birth chart, what they stand for, and the influence they have over you.

This will be a comprehensive break down but remember these planets mean a lot more in relation to which zodiac sign lives there. If you haven’t gotten that information yet, please do. We will be taking it slow since there is so much information to share with you. This blog post will cover the planets Mercury and Venus. Cue the fireworks again!!!!


Of course, we must start with Mercury! This is the planet that internet influencers won’t shut up about because it’s been going retrograde all the freaking time. So, what even is Mercury other than the smallest planet in our solar system (writing that made me feel some type of way about Pluto). In ancient Mythology, Mercury was that young, speedy, messenger of the gawds. His province was communication and everything requiring skill and dexterity. According to them this winged-footed-cleaver-hottie also invented music, mathematics, and astronomy! I mean dang, all I’ve done today is eat my weight in chips and salsa. “In astrology Mercury is the planet of mental activities, communication, and intellectual energies. It rules over your intelligence, perception and reason, memory, speaking and writing. It reflects the way you see, hear, understand, and assimilate information.” When Mercury is prominent under certain zodiac signs it highlights the way you speak, how lively you may be, how cleaver you are, your intelligence level, the way you communicate! Most of you will find that your Mercury will be in the same sign as your Sun, if not, it will be very close to it- about one zodiac away. Think about how close Mercury is to the actual Sun, it only takes 88 days to orbit as opposed to Earths 365- Coincidence? Nah Bih, it’s legit.

For the sake of not writing a 4-million-word thesis on this I’m going to list some BASIC characteristics associated with each planet (today Mercury & Venus) in each of the Zodiac signs. And to save me even more energy I’m taking ideas mostly from the book “The Only Astrology Book You’ll Ever Need” as with anything else quoted in these posts. So go ahead look at yours, look at your BFF’s, look at your man-that-doesn’t-know-he’s-your-mans, look at your enemies, look at them all!

Aries: Witty, outspoken, original, ironic/sarcastic tone, big exaggerator, impatient, fond of speaking and writing, too impulsive, blessed with luck  

Taurus: Practical, stable, constructive, thinks your opinions are wisest, excellent memory, can be shy with new people, good with money, prefers comfort

Gemini: Change your mind/opinion quickly, work on multiple projects at once, live for facts/information, versatile, clever, infectious good humor,  

Cancer: Sensitive to what others think, intuitively pick up on other signals, chameleonlike, Charming, can be narrow minded, can have irrational phobias

Leo: Gift of eloquence, magnetic flair, organized, knows how to direct or manage others, can be arrogant, sunny disposition, love of performing arts, great enthusiasm

Virgo: Analytical, quick learner, expect reality to conform with your ideas, intellectual intolerance for people who are sloppy, can take on too much, talent for creative crafts

Libra: Looks at both sides of everything, gentle attitude, sympathetic, friendly, fond of socializing, can be a push-over, do not like stirring up controversy  

Scorpio: Questioning and probing, interested in the occult, keen observation, cannot be fooled, can be very stubborn, and may have a volatile temper

Sagittarius: Quick and bright, breezy and to the point, prize freedom and self-expression, Love travel, can bee too blunt or outspoken, lack of concentration at times

Capricorn: Ambitious and methodical, very patient, looks at the bigger picture, excellent with details, dry sense of humor, can come across as disapproving or serious

Aquarius: Inquisitive, accurate, inventive, excellent judgement of others, people watchers, emotionally detached outlook, truth seeker, eccentric

Pisces: Psychic revelations, intriguing, air of mystery, imaginative and creative, can appear timid or confused, very sensitive to your environment

ready for more?


How sexy are you? Do you find it easy to attract lovers? Are you flirtatious or shy? Do you find happiness in your love affairs or are you generally disappointed in love? These questions can be answered by knowing your position of Venus on your birthchart. Venus in mythology is that banging hot goddess who was able to temp the likes of gods, goddesses, mortal men and women. The ultimate seductress. She had it all- stunning looks, sharp wit, intelligence, and flowers grew wherever she walked- dayum drama queen. The goddess DID exhibit some negative qualities as well, so don’t be tricked into thinking it was all love and daisy’s (see what I did there? Because she’s the goddess of love, and flowers grew where she walked? okay I’ll stop). Anywizzle, because she really did believe she was the shit when things didn’t go her way, she was very temperamental, and could be treacherous and spiteful. Love is a BIG emotion there’s always two sides to every coin. As mere humans we project these emotions all the time, even with our best efforts not to. Unless you are a detached Aquarian living on another ethereal plane where NO one can reach you, YOU FEEL ALL OF THESE THINGS TOO. Our Venus placement tells us more about how we handle these emotions and our predispositions towards love, sex, harmony, friendship, and even the amusements you are drawn to. In astrological terms this planet is the second closest to the sun so it will never be far from your sun sign. It is almost always either in your same sun sign or in one of the two following your sun sign. For example, if you are a Sagittarius sun you may find your Venus in Sagittarius, Capricorn, or Aquarius.  

Let’s look at some traits associated with each zodiac sign in the planet of Venus. Don’t forget to look for your boo’s, but also your ex’s (dumbasses! Didn’t know how good they had it!)

Aries: Responsive and impulsive love nature, falls in love at first sight, strongly sensual, first attracted to physical appearances, enthusiastic attitude, aggressive, can be selfish

Taurus: Affectionate and romantic, you take your time deciding who to love, very physical, there is no love without sex, very generous towards a lover, your passion can be smothering

Gemini: Must have an intellectual connection, lighthearted attitude toward love, you have so many interests you can be seen as fickle or inconsistent, charming, witty, has many friends

Cancer: Romantic and sensitive, love is most important, you would much rather be pursued, you need reassurance, intensely sentimental, family loyalty, loves being at home

Leo: Magnetic and irresistible, easily attract warm feelings from others, extravagantly affectionate, need intense devotion, dominate, can be dramatic, seeks attention from outside sources

Virgo: Curious and cautious, easily find flaws in others, fear of getting hurt, refined, intelligent, loyal, sympathetic, quiet but witty sense of humor, (for some reason this position of Venus promotes scandal)

Libra: In love with love, more romantic than sensual, charming social manners, adores luxury and can be extravagant, dismissive of anyone who doesn’t “measure up” no matter their deeper qualities

Scorpio: Love is all-consuming, sex life is intense and is emphasized, deep need to possess a lover, want your partner to surrender to you, very sensitive to rejection and can become vindictive

Sagittarius: Adventurous and exciting, wildly romantic, have trouble sacrificing your freedom to one person, find it easier to deal with friends than lovers, outgoing, imaginative

Capricorn: Careful and cautious, loyal and dependable, say what you mean, enjoy material comforts, very sensual, likes giving and receiving, can come across as cold or detached, jealous tendencies

Aquarius: Kind and loving nature, helpful, charitable and giving, intellectually detached attitude toward love, not an emotional person, personal freedom is most important, platonic friendships are best

Pisces: Tender and deeply devoted, gentle, kindhearted, extremely sensitive, fickle, often choose the wrong lovers- to save them, can have secret love affairs, self-sacrificing, not logical about love

Guys we are only two planets in… but I feel like this is where we take a break! Next time I’ll be going over Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn- This feels like that space adventure with Mrs. Frizzle (if you don’t know who that is, I feel bad for your childhood). As always thanks for taking the time to read this, hopefully you’ll be back for the next round!

How the F**K do I read my birth chart?!

This is a question I get all too often, and guess what guys…IM NO EXPERT! I have done my fair share of reading and research though, and I happen to be a master of organization and summerization! Thank you, Capricorn Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, and Neptune… yea I know, that’s almost too much Cap, but I fit the role so let’s do this shit!

I’ll be the first to admit just a glance at a birthchart can have your head spinning. There are so many symbols and there’s… MATH… oh gawd. Honestly though, if you choose to be a bit more open minded in your thought process it’s actually more like a code. This isn’t just some javascript code that your ex boyfriend learned in his first semester of computer science (before he dropped out and started selling his grandmas Vicodin #fastmoney)… THIS code is all you baby! Every single symbol, picture, aspect, line, connection, other big word, etc. etc. is YOU. The universe encrypted that bitch and it’s our job to de-code and live a life that has been written for us since birth. The drama in that last sentence was intentional and meant to keep you intrigued. Did it work? Good, now get ready for a multi part series journey with me as your host.

Part 1: The basics

Let’s start with the holy trinity- no, not the “Father, Son, Spirit” bible type trinity. Also, not the “Carrots, Celery, Onions” cooking type trinity. The real shit type trinity, the SUN, MOON, RISING type trinity. If there were a fireworks sound effect for this document I would def input it right here! Any nerd who knows how to do that hit my DM’s. Listen the fact of the matter is, Astrology has been studied for over 5,000 years! This is hundreds of years before the time of Christ- The Greek Philosophers formulated a theory called “Man in Microcosm” which basically means humans are the miniature versions of the cosmos! If you aren’t picturing Carl Sagan’s angelic face right now please read that again. MINIATURE VERSIONS OF THE COSMOS!!! This eventually became the idea known as the Hermetic Theory where all twelve signs of the zodiac hold special associations, characterizations, and meanings. And when put together the twelve zodiac give a picture of the human beings minds, bodies, emotions, and or surroundings. Alright, if I haven’t lost you yet to the background information let’s keep it moving.  

Sun Signs

 EvErYoNe better know their own sun sign. It’s as simple as knowing the month you were born and the zodiac associated with that month! The deeper meaning is also quite simple so long as you understand what the sun IS in reference to our very existence. Without the sun we wouldn’t exist. PERIOT. It is our most powerful “planet” (in astrological terms it is called a planet even though it, like the moon, is a Luminary). Our sun sign has a huge impact on who we are as it delineates your general character.  As stated in “The Only Astrology Book You’ll Ever Need” by Joanna Martine Woolfolk “The position of the sun in your birthchart governs your individuality, your distinctive style, and your drive to fulfil your goals in life”. I will most likely be referencing this book a ton in this multi part series since it’s my fav and the title is absolutely true. The problem we run into with sun signs is that people expect too much from them. This is where astrology is doubted and unfortunately misunderstood. While our sun sign is a very important piece of our puzzle, it is by no means the entire picture! Reading a few cringey horoscopes in magazines or basic sun sign traits on the internet you disagree with, will easily make us say “that’s not me!” And now you’re a heterosexual male who can’t stand when people have fun- calm down sportsfan its just a joke. But remember this is just the start of your picture. We haven’t even gotten to your moon sign or your rising sign yet! Look into your sun sign and be proud of whatever zodiac it is! Own that shit! There are always negative traits within them because HELLO, we are human, not perfect, not always wonderful. If you are aware and accepting of your sun sign traits the rest of your birthchart becomes easier to interpret. Something else to keep in mind regarding sun sign is the fact that there are many levels to this ONE zodiac- we must consider that each zodiac has a specific duality- either masculine or feminine. Masculine signs being “direct and energetic” and Feminine signs being “receptive and magnetic”. This has nothing to do with sexisim and everything to do with how we handle things. Within the twelve zodiac we also have three decantes each. Each zodiac sign is a 360 degree circle, each decante is ten degrees of that circle (ten days long). I love the description given in my book “You might picture each decante as a room. You were born in a certain sign, for example, Gemini, that consists of three rooms (decantes). Which room of Gemini were you born in?” Decantes refine and individualize each sun signs general characteristics. If you struggle with connecting to your sun sign I highly recommend finding out which decante you were born in, I would be more than happy to help with this if you have no idea where to start.

Moon Signs

The lesser known sign among astrology newbies. I can hear it now-“ Moon sign?! What’s that?” Well Rachel, it’s your deep, dark personality that you instinctively try to hide from the world. Your moon sign is where you feel “at home” even if this “home” isn’t everyone else’s cup of tea. This is where you can truly be YOU, in fact, some may relate more to their moon sign then their sun sign. The unfortunate part is we tend to hide our true self from most of the world. This is because as humans we are taught to disapprove of behavior we call “dark” or some feelings you might even think are disturbing. This is where we feel jealousy, fear, fantasies, the things we often deny ourselves of due to the illusion that it’s wrong. However, this is also where we find our simple pleasures and reactions to emotional stimuli. The moon has rulership over our five senses- sight, sound, touch, smell, taste. The astrologer Landis Knight Green says, “The moon is the threshold of the subconscious”. Our moon sign influences our receptivity to others and theirs to us, therefore holding big importance to our love life relationships. It’s funny that we try and match make based off of our sun signs when it’s our moon signs that give a better picture of how well or… not well you might work with someone else. This is where we can find understanding in each other. Our moon sign is also the counter part to our sun sign. A marriage for example- if they work well together you feel harmonious. If you are constantly feeling like you are two different people and struggle to know who you are, a feeling of being pulled two separate ways- a study of your sun and moon would do you some good. On the other hand, if you’re like me and have the same Sun and Moon sign you will probably feel that those characteristics are doubly potent within your personality. I have to point out that the moon itself has both a dark side and a light side- so do you. Embrace it and “Know thy self” as the ancient Greeks would say.

Rising Signs

Also known as your Ascendant is how the outside world views you. This can be how you seem to first come across to others who don’t know you deeply (in other words, they don’t know your moon sign). This does not mean your rising or ascendant sign ISNT you, it is! It’s just another layer of our human code, almost like our outer shell. “Your Ascendant is the sign that was rising over the eastern horizon at the time of your birth (hence, your rising sign)”. This is why that one girl whose always pretending not to look at you asked what time you were born. Possibly the most intriguing aspect of a rising sign is that because it changes every two hours you can be radically different than many people born on the exact same day as you- they would share your same sun, and moon, but unless they were born within the same two hours, everyone remains unique! Rising signs also have a lot to do with your outward appearance, how you look. Think about your favorite outward quality. Do you have magnetic doe eyes, nice curves, a beautiful head of hair, strong bones? Damn you sexy! Now go check physical characteristics and mannerisms associated with your rising sign. Seems legit right! This influence was once thought of as more important than our sun signs because it is the exact time of our birth. Most Astrologers still feel that the line of the Ascendant is the most important point in a birthchart because without it other calculations such as houses and aspects cannot be made… but we will get into that next time.

Until then, become more self aware- love ALLLLL your qualities, and for cosmos sake figure out your moon and rising signs!

Things awesome people ask ME (!?) on Instagram!

After starting my tarot journey on social media, I found myself quickly welcomed into a fascinating community of people who share very similar interests and lifestyles to my own. I have been inspired daily and as it turns out I have also inspired (what? Me!?). As with anything you care about, I have nurtured my IG page, grown my following (not a ton, but more than I could’ve ever hoped for!), met some amazing people, and built my business! I started noticing a pattern of questions I would get through DM’s constantly and now that I have created this space (my website), I think its high time I compiled a LIST of the questions I’m always asked and the answers I always give! How very Capricorn of me 😊

If you watched my VERY FIRST IGTV video you saw that I quickly answered the top two most common questions I get, but for the sake of double checking I’ll start my list from the top- you’re welcome.

  1. “How do you know which Tarot deck to start with”

 Some people will insist that you need to be gifted your first tarot deck while others will insist that you must respect your elders and learn from the OG Rider-Waite deck (after all its been hanging out since 1910). The truth is whether you’ve purchased your own deck to start or you can’t stand the basic-ness of Rider-Waite its YOUR choice that matters. How you connect with the cards is what you should think about. Ask yourself: “can I easily understand what each card means just by looking at the pictures?”. I say this because there are SO many visually pleasing, interesting, and unique tarot decks out now it can be difficult to pick… but can you really tell what a King of Wands is supposed to stand for when the card has some a-symmetrical lines and oddly placed blobs? Like, yeah, I get it ARTSY AF! But what you really want when looking to truly understand and remember the tarot, is a deck that offers beautiful, yet easy to read pictures. Once you have memorized or connected enough to each card then you can move on to more challenging/modern decks. I was gifted my first Tarot deck; however, it was my choice (thanks amazon wish-list). I wasn’t moved by the pictures of the Rider-Waite, but I know I am a visual learner and I needed something traditional enough. I found that the Hanson-Roberts tarot deck was a perfect match for me. The images are traditional but, in my opinion more visually pleasing than the good ol RW. Another good traditional, but different option is the Morgan Greer tarot deck. The truth is there isn’t a right or wrong way of doing this- my suggestion is to research some traditional-esque decks when starting out. I promise this will make it easier to learn quickly and it’s only a matter of time before you are fluently using that ultra-unique-sups-current-hip-AF-deck of your witchy dreams!

  1. “How do you get your pictures to look like that?”

This is a question I get a lot even though I’m not too sure why… I feel like my pictures look like most people’s pictures- but I’ll share the few tricks I’ve learned along the way. The first being the all mighty RING LIGHT!!! I seriously think anyone who makes videos or takes lots of pictures should own one… so basically EVERYONE should own one! I use mine when I make my paid-for tarot readings, when I’m shooting content for my website, and when I’m capturing images for my IG account. The reason the ring light is so great is because it holds the camera steady and in place, it has a light that features different settings and modes and makes everything look 10 times better, and I can easily heighten or shorten the tri-pod legs for whatever surface I’m working on. Unless you are shooting outdoors during optimal sunlight hours the light on most pictures tend to be less-than perfect. With the ring light its not even a problem you have to think about. It’s not just for selfies, even when I’m taking pictures of my tarot cards or my crystal’s I use my ring light because it’s helpful in every way possible. Let’s be clear though… the selfies taken with a ring light are 100% better (as I showed you on my IGTV video!). The light makes any “imperfection” practically invisible and there’s the adjustment feature! The only other “secret” I have is the editing option on my iPhone. If you don’t have an iPhone, I’m sure you have something similar on your phone, you just have to know where to find it. Once I have a picture taken, I usually like to adjust things to make the image even more vibrant. I open the picture and at the top right-hand side it has an “edit” option. Once you click on that you can play around with the lighting, color, and contrast easily. After using it often you will get a feel for how you like your images to look and having most of your content look similar is key to the whole “consistency is best” rule for IG. Some people use pre-set filters and that’s cool, I just don’t have them and haven’t really investigated any that I would feel comfortable recommending. If I ever do buy-in to all that I’ll be sure to share.

  1. “How/when/who inspired you to learn Tarot”?

Yes, I’m combining all these because I must admit, not putting this as number two on the list is KILLING me! I like things to be cohesive and have order. Having this here feels like I’m back-tracking… however, this is the order of questions I get so I shall stay true to that. I have been interested in tarot ever since I got a random reading when I was about 20 years old. I’ve always been into astrology, zodiac, and anything metaphysical in nature. I went through a rough time a few years back trying to “find myself” and wanted to be more authentic to who I am rather than who everyone else said I should be. During this process I was gifted my first Tarot Deck (shout out to Liz!) and I became fascinated and obsessed with learning. I felt an immediate connection and was shocked at how effortlessly I was able to interpret the cards in different scenarios – even for others. The things that helped me the most were interesting books like “WTF is Tarot? And how do I do it” By Bakara Wintner. YouTube Tarot Channels like “EAT READ LOVE” with Sal Biadora, and “Nicholas Ashbaugh Intuitive”. The Instagram tarot community with inspiring accounts like @hermitsmirror, @bigempressenergy, @mantis_tarot, (if you aren’t following these accounts yet are you EVEN interested in tarot?!) and this is just to name a few- you can easily get sucked into the rabbit hole of awesome accounts that enjoy the same things you do.  Last but certainly not least friends and family who allowed me to practice on them. I cannot stress enough the importance of self-confidence when it comes to reading for others. If you are confident in your abilities the rest works out easily.

  1. “Do you have to know astrology to learn tarot?”

The short (wrong) answer to this is “no” because you can learn the major and minor arcana without knowing a whole bunch about astrology and relying mainly on memory. The better (right) answer is YES and here’s why…

Astrology plays a major role in the interpretation of the tarot. The major arcana is a set of 22 cards that represent your life’s journey or your soul’s progression to enlightenment. Each of these significant cards are directly linked to the zodiac signs, elements, planets, and numerology. The minor arcana is a set of 56 cards that represent everyday life lessons, challenges to overcome, and our free will. These cards are “controlled” by elements Fire, Air, Water, Earth, which in turn make the zodiac (star signs) key players. Personally, knowing about astrology has helped me significantly in reading the tarot. I use my knowledge of ancient elements, the seven sacred planets, and star signs to help me pick up on energies and important meanings of each card. There is a wonderful blog I will link for you where Richard Palmer has mapped out everything you would need to know or at least associate when it comes to the relationship between Astrology and Tarot. I recommend checking it out even if you are familiar with both. Something else that I swear by is the bible of Astrology : The Only Astrology Book You’ll Ever Need, the title ain’t lying! This book has it all.

If you have any further questions about the topics I’ve posted so far, or, if you have a burning question to ask that I didn’t address here please feel free to shoot me an email, comment on this post, or slllliiidddeeeee into my DM’s over on my insta account @mizmagick

What the hell is going on with Cancer Season, The Full Moon & Lunar Eclipse in Capricorn, and taking advantage of YOUR next power move!

I’m sure anyone who is remotely interested in astrology knows that we are amid eclipse season, retrograde season and… cAnCeR sEaSoN! I thought I’d take the time to explain these energies and highlight that beginning tomorrow we will experience a Full Moon and partial lunar eclipse in the Sign of Capricorn. To preface this as easily as I can- THIS IS A LOT OF POTENT ENERGY!!! Powerful, to say the least.

Let’s start by breaking down these combinations and looking at how this will affect you throughout the next couple of days/weeks. Cancer and Capricorn are exact opposites. Parents of the zodiac if you will… Cancer being the “watery-healing-mother” and Capricorn being the “earthy-responsible-father”. Basically, what one sign lacks the other makes up for.

With the sun in Cancer you are being guided to the divine feminine. Helping to heal yourself and most likely emphasizing heavy emotions you might otherwise push aside. Therefore, we tend to FEEL so much during this season. For many signs this can be exhausting as if we are swimming against the current. Depending on your placements (for example if you are heavy fire & earth) this can become a game of “sink or swim” trying to figure out when it’s best to “go with the flow” and “ride the wave”  or when to simply give in and literally DROWN in our emotions. For water signs (especially cancer the real MVP) ya’ll have got this down pat. Admittedly we could all benefit from some deep emotional reflection every now and then. Even if this isn’t the most comfortable season to live in, it’s like when you have a really ugly cry- you hate it at the moment with your puffy bloodshot eyes, tears streaming down your face, snot dripping from your swollen red nose – BUT you know after you’ve gotten all that shit out, whipped your tears, blow your nose 20 times (because damn that’s a lot of snot), and take a deep breath to sing the lyrics to Christina Aguilera’s hit single “Beautiful”,  you’re going to feel so much better  (wink, wink, this is why Leo season comes next).

 Now with Saturn the planet of limitations/restrictions, Pluto the planet of subconsciousness/death and rebirth, and the moon- how you feel your emotions, all in the sign of Capricorn- it is likely we will be experiencing deep release both personally and collectively. As stated in elite daily “Capricorn is the last earth sign in the zodiac therefore it’s the perfect hybrid of Taurus’ “slow and steady wins the race” mentality and Virgo’s brilliant precision”. Capricorn says, “shut up lil bitch it’s time to be more practical with our emotions and persistent with our goals”.  With this type of energy being dominant in the cosmos and adding into the mix the balancing act of the Cancer Sun, we are headed for some deep emotional realizations that will shed light (see what I did there? the Sun… Shed light) on some deliberate changes we must make in order to restructure our lives. Keep in mind the traditional meanings of the Full Moon representing “completion” and the Lunar Eclipse representing letting go. It really does make perfect sense!

In order to make the best use of this energy we must first embrace and nurture our emotions like a true cancerian would. Once we know what triggers us on the deeper level, we can then start putting a well-organized, precisely thought out plan into motion like only a Capricorn can do. During the Full Moon and Lunar Eclipse really detail what needs to change- what cycles are over for you? Its time to level up and move on to greener pastures.

With intention and motivation anything is possible! Let’s use this cosmic combo to our advantage like a power slide turbo boost in Mario Kart 8. Not a fan? Okay… the point is there’s an opportunity to move ahead quickly, with the right factors in place you’ll be on to your next adventure in no time!