How the F**K do I read my birth chart?!

This is a question I get all too often, and guess what guys…IM NO EXPERT! I have done my fair share of reading and research though, and I happen to be a master of organization and summerization! Thank you, Capricorn Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, and Neptune… yea I know, that’s almost too much Cap, but I fit the role so let’s do this shit!

I’ll be the first to admit just a glance at a birthchart can have your head spinning. There are so many symbols and there’s… MATH… oh gawd. Honestly though, if you choose to be a bit more open minded in your thought process it’s actually more like a code. This isn’t just some javascript code that your ex boyfriend learned in his first semester of computer science (before he dropped out and started selling his grandmas Vicodin #fastmoney)… THIS code is all you baby! Every single symbol, picture, aspect, line, connection, other big word, etc. etc. is YOU. The universe encrypted that bitch and it’s our job to de-code and live a life that has been written for us since birth. The drama in that last sentence was intentional and meant to keep you intrigued. Did it work? Good, now get ready for a multi part series journey with me as your host.

Part 1: The basics

Let’s start with the holy trinity- no, not the “Father, Son, Spirit” bible type trinity. Also, not the “Carrots, Celery, Onions” cooking type trinity. The real shit type trinity, the SUN, MOON, RISING type trinity. If there were a fireworks sound effect for this document I would def input it right here! Any nerd who knows how to do that hit my DM’s. Listen the fact of the matter is, Astrology has been studied for over 5,000 years! This is hundreds of years before the time of Christ- The Greek Philosophers formulated a theory called “Man in Microcosm” which basically means humans are the miniature versions of the cosmos! If you aren’t picturing Carl Sagan’s angelic face right now please read that again. MINIATURE VERSIONS OF THE COSMOS!!! This eventually became the idea known as the Hermetic Theory where all twelve signs of the zodiac hold special associations, characterizations, and meanings. And when put together the twelve zodiac give a picture of the human beings minds, bodies, emotions, and or surroundings. Alright, if I haven’t lost you yet to the background information let’s keep it moving.  

Sun Signs

 EvErYoNe better know their own sun sign. It’s as simple as knowing the month you were born and the zodiac associated with that month! The deeper meaning is also quite simple so long as you understand what the sun IS in reference to our very existence. Without the sun we wouldn’t exist. PERIOT. It is our most powerful “planet” (in astrological terms it is called a planet even though it, like the moon, is a Luminary). Our sun sign has a huge impact on who we are as it delineates your general character.  As stated in “The Only Astrology Book You’ll Ever Need” by Joanna Martine Woolfolk “The position of the sun in your birthchart governs your individuality, your distinctive style, and your drive to fulfil your goals in life”. I will most likely be referencing this book a ton in this multi part series since it’s my fav and the title is absolutely true. The problem we run into with sun signs is that people expect too much from them. This is where astrology is doubted and unfortunately misunderstood. While our sun sign is a very important piece of our puzzle, it is by no means the entire picture! Reading a few cringey horoscopes in magazines or basic sun sign traits on the internet you disagree with, will easily make us say “that’s not me!” And now you’re a heterosexual male who can’t stand when people have fun- calm down sportsfan its just a joke. But remember this is just the start of your picture. We haven’t even gotten to your moon sign or your rising sign yet! Look into your sun sign and be proud of whatever zodiac it is! Own that shit! There are always negative traits within them because HELLO, we are human, not perfect, not always wonderful. If you are aware and accepting of your sun sign traits the rest of your birthchart becomes easier to interpret. Something else to keep in mind regarding sun sign is the fact that there are many levels to this ONE zodiac- we must consider that each zodiac has a specific duality- either masculine or feminine. Masculine signs being “direct and energetic” and Feminine signs being “receptive and magnetic”. This has nothing to do with sexisim and everything to do with how we handle things. Within the twelve zodiac we also have three decantes each. Each zodiac sign is a 360 degree circle, each decante is ten degrees of that circle (ten days long). I love the description given in my book “You might picture each decante as a room. You were born in a certain sign, for example, Gemini, that consists of three rooms (decantes). Which room of Gemini were you born in?” Decantes refine and individualize each sun signs general characteristics. If you struggle with connecting to your sun sign I highly recommend finding out which decante you were born in, I would be more than happy to help with this if you have no idea where to start.

Moon Signs

The lesser known sign among astrology newbies. I can hear it now-“ Moon sign?! What’s that?” Well Rachel, it’s your deep, dark personality that you instinctively try to hide from the world. Your moon sign is where you feel “at home” even if this “home” isn’t everyone else’s cup of tea. This is where you can truly be YOU, in fact, some may relate more to their moon sign then their sun sign. The unfortunate part is we tend to hide our true self from most of the world. This is because as humans we are taught to disapprove of behavior we call “dark” or some feelings you might even think are disturbing. This is where we feel jealousy, fear, fantasies, the things we often deny ourselves of due to the illusion that it’s wrong. However, this is also where we find our simple pleasures and reactions to emotional stimuli. The moon has rulership over our five senses- sight, sound, touch, smell, taste. The astrologer Landis Knight Green says, “The moon is the threshold of the subconscious”. Our moon sign influences our receptivity to others and theirs to us, therefore holding big importance to our love life relationships. It’s funny that we try and match make based off of our sun signs when it’s our moon signs that give a better picture of how well or… not well you might work with someone else. This is where we can find understanding in each other. Our moon sign is also the counter part to our sun sign. A marriage for example- if they work well together you feel harmonious. If you are constantly feeling like you are two different people and struggle to know who you are, a feeling of being pulled two separate ways- a study of your sun and moon would do you some good. On the other hand, if you’re like me and have the same Sun and Moon sign you will probably feel that those characteristics are doubly potent within your personality. I have to point out that the moon itself has both a dark side and a light side- so do you. Embrace it and “Know thy self” as the ancient Greeks would say.

Rising Signs

Also known as your Ascendant is how the outside world views you. This can be how you seem to first come across to others who don’t know you deeply (in other words, they don’t know your moon sign). This does not mean your rising or ascendant sign ISNT you, it is! It’s just another layer of our human code, almost like our outer shell. “Your Ascendant is the sign that was rising over the eastern horizon at the time of your birth (hence, your rising sign)”. This is why that one girl whose always pretending not to look at you asked what time you were born. Possibly the most intriguing aspect of a rising sign is that because it changes every two hours you can be radically different than many people born on the exact same day as you- they would share your same sun, and moon, but unless they were born within the same two hours, everyone remains unique! Rising signs also have a lot to do with your outward appearance, how you look. Think about your favorite outward quality. Do you have magnetic doe eyes, nice curves, a beautiful head of hair, strong bones? Damn you sexy! Now go check physical characteristics and mannerisms associated with your rising sign. Seems legit right! This influence was once thought of as more important than our sun signs because it is the exact time of our birth. Most Astrologers still feel that the line of the Ascendant is the most important point in a birthchart because without it other calculations such as houses and aspects cannot be made… but we will get into that next time.

Until then, become more self aware- love ALLLLL your qualities, and for cosmos sake figure out your moon and rising signs!

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  1. Great job my friend, your information is brought with a hilarity only you can accomplish. You’re a great writer and an even better human❤️


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